Who won that VP debate?: Mastio & Lawrence

David: Before the vice presidential debate I was fairly certain that Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine was a real person, despite the time he spent as the head of the Democratic National Committee, but now I know different. He’s a programmable robot who can ignore the opening question to deliver a pre-programmed speech and vapid pre-programmed lines about Hillary Clinton being the “You’re Hired” president while Donald Trump is the “You’re Fired” president. Now a human being could have pulled that off, but then his programming got stuck in a feedback loop with leftover data from a decade ago when he started talking about Trump’s “risky scheme to privatize Social Security,” it became undeniable that he is a robot.

Jill: I had wondered how Indiana Gov. Mike Pence would defend his running mate. The answer was, say his name as infrequently as possible and scoot away from his problems — from reality  — as quickly as possible, sometimes via one of those pre-programmed lines. For instance, Trump will release his tax returns as soon as the audit is done. Of course he will. In the world according to Pence, Clinton is the one who's running an "insult-driven" campaign, Clinton is the one whose plans would explode the deficit, the economy is in the toilet, and Trump isn't serious about deporting 11 million undocumented immigrants. The opposite is true in all cases. But give Pence credit, he sounded as reassuring as Trump is unnerving. He must have been the most soothing talk radio host in talk radio history.

David: It is amazing how Pence just slithered away from defending Trump’s serial stupidities. In his defense, his only choice was to be as slippery as a snake or to sound as vacuous as Kaine when defending Clinton’s foreign policy. Kaine said three times that the threat of terrorism had “decreased.” The 9/11 Commission chairmen wrote a column for USA TODAY that the threat today is worse than immediately after 9/11. He sounded profoundly out of touch to voters who have seen radical Islamist terrorist attacks repeatedly on U.S. soil while Hillary Clinton promises an “intelligence surge” as a panacea. I want someone to ask her why Barack Obama won’t jump on this brilliant idea right now.

Pence pick won't even matter: Mastio & Lawrence

Jill: I don’t know how people will react to Kaine’s hyper manner, but he did the right thing by pointing out that Pence wasn’t defending Trump even as he was asking everyone to vote for him. “I’m just saying facts about your running mate,” Kaine said. “Completely false,” Pence responded — and accused Kaine of living in an alternative universe. But there’s no question about which ticket is living in the reality-based community. And there’s no question that Trump made all the remarks Kaine was quoting straight from Twitter and videotape. Yet Pence’s mission was to make the persuadables, what few there are, believe that Trump had never said all the things he has said. The fact checks on this debate will be as long as a Proust novel if the checkers examine every "no he didn't say that" from Pence.

David: Kaine looked like the over-eager kid in the front row of class with his arm raised, waving back and forth, saying “Oooh, me, call on me!” It wasn’t reassuring or presidential, and it only emphasized the canned answers he was delivering. There’s no doubt he is a good student, but he doesn’t seem like the strong voice of conscience that Hillary Clinton needs at her side to derail her tendency to act like she is hiding the crime of the century. He looks like a yes man eager for a pat on the head. Now, Pence, he looks solid, substantive and presidential. He’s oozing self-assurance and authority. Too bad he is the John McCain of 2016. McCain looked and sounded the part in 2008, but he disqualified himself when he picked the empty-headed half-term governor of an empty state to be his running mate. Pence is in the same boat. On the surface, Pence is the most plausible president among the four, but he disqualified himself when he agreed to be the running mate of a Twitter-obsessed faux billionaire from reality TV.

Melania, puffery and plagiarism at TrumpCon: Mastio & Lawrence

POLICING THE USA: A look at race, justice, media 

Jill: The Pence wall of denial finally crumbled when he was asked about Trump’s initial instinct to punish women who have abortions. “He’s not a polished politician,” he said. To which Kaine retorted, “From the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Not exactly a knockout blow. In fact Pence had a very lucky debate. Who would have thought 18 months ago that any politician would be relying on Pence of all people for salvation? He had signed a “religious freedom restoration act” that was broadly interpreted — including by giant corporations — as a license to discriminate against gay people. He was the one who needed saving back then. But he got through the 90 minutes without a single question about gay rights. I can’t imagine a conversation between him and Trump, a New Yorker to the bone, on that subject. In fact I can’t imagine a conversation between him and Trump, period. This is the king hell of arranged marriages but, if the polls are right, the unhappy couple won’t have to put up with each other much longer.

David Mastio, a libertarianish conservative, is the deputy editor of USA TODAY's Editorial Page. Jill Lawrence, a center-leftish liberal, is the commentary editor of USA TODAY. Follow them on Twitter @DavidMastio and @JillDLawrence.

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