Town mourns mother of 9 slain by cop ex-husband

ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Nine motherless children stood solemnly in rows of two at the back of the cathedral as they watched clergy bless the casket their mother, Tamara Wilson-Seidle, rested in feet away.

They were dressed in black with a single orange flower pinned to each of their tops. A thin, curly-haired 7-year-old rested in her oldest sister's embrace as they waited for the signal to walk.

Last week, the little girl saw her mother get shot to death by her father, Neptune Police Sgt. Philip Seidle. This week, she walked past more than 500 people crowded into the Holy Spirit Church in Asbury Park to honor her mother's life.

After nearly 20 clergy members proceeded up the altar, a man in a black suit tapped the shoulder of one of the eldest children. The little girl stepped directly behind her sister, Kirstin, but their hands remained clutched together as they made their way to the front of the cathedral.

"All of us somehow experience tragedies, painful things in our daily lives," said Father Miguel Virella, who led the service and has known Wilson-Seidle for years. She coordinated religious education in the Mother of Mercy Parish for more than 17 years.

His eulogy acknowledged the struggles Wilson-Seidle faced, including a battle against breast cancer and marital problems. Court records show she was abused and threatened by her killer before.

But despite those struggles, Virella said she did her work with the church responsibly and always kept a smile on her face. She helped others in the face of all the pain she endured, he said.

"She was not bound to the darkness and negativity of those feelings, but rather she was able to come out and see God ... A man is measured by the capability of his forgiveness," Virella said.

"'My girl,' I used to call her, with your permission," Virella said with a touch of hope and reminiscence in his voice. "Tammy was a strong cookie. In faith, she persevered like a soldier ... she taught us love is for everyone, even for those who think differently from us."

It was also the mother of nine's fervent faith and dedication to raising her children that made her who she was, said Pat Cottman, who spoke about Wilson-Seidle's life during the funeral.

"She raised her children and took seriously the will of God even when it wasn't favorable," Cottman said. "Many of her friends people in the world laughed."

"She loved her family and she loved her husband," Virella said. "She had a heart that was transformed. Jesus was in her heart and she shared Jesus."

None of the children spoke at the funeral.

Despite a full cathedral, the room was silent in between speakers and choice songs except for the rustling of the standing-room crowd shifting their weight. The soft glow from sun shining through the stain glass windows brightened the cream and turquoise cathedral ceilings that were only dimly lit.

Some friends and family quietly patted their cheeks with tissues. Some comforted each other. Others were lost in prayer.

Outside, the sun was shining.

Vilma Roldan held back tears as she stood outside the church. Roldan used to lead religious education classes and work with Wilson-Seidle. She remembered seeing Wilson-Seidle's smile every Sunday as she and her nine children lined up to sit in the front row.

"She was beautiful," Roldan said. "She always had a smile."